Writing A Book Is Like Going Through The Five Stages Of Grief


This exact moment marks one year and three months since I made the decision to write my second book, Living Over Existing (my first being The Blogpreneur). And within a few short weeks, this baby of mine will be available for pre-order. To say that this experience has been interesting would be an understatement, as I have felt every emotion possible throughout this process. And as wild or dramatic as it may sound, it's almost like going through the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. 


I prayed that God would give me an idea for this book and when he did I was excited and couldn't wait to dive in. I write for a living so I figured this process would feel more like a long blog post than writing an actual book. But I couldn't have been more wrong. There were times when I literally told God that I couldn't write this book and was in denial that this was the task that He had given me. Thankfully, the more I tried to push away, the more He continued to remind me WHY this book needed to be written. So that I could not only share a deeper part of my tory but to also encourage other creative women to push past what they feel is currently holding them back from uncovering and digging deeper into their purpose.


I wish that I could tell you that I have been disciplined enough to sit down and work on this book everyday since the idea came to me but if that were true, you would be reading it now instead of listening to me whine in this blog post. There were times when I would go weeks without even touching my outline. Then I would look at the calendar, realize how much time I had wasted and literally get angry with myself because I wasn't making it a priority. Then there are the stories that I tell in the book. Living Over Existing walks you through my journey and how I had to overcome fear, self-doubt and comparison in order to build my business to what it is today. A lot of those stories and the emotions that are attached to those stories, I've suppressed in the back of my mind for years. So bringing them back to light along with the pressure of knowing many of you will be reading them, brought up a lot of angry and sad feelings that I thought I had worked through.


This was something that I didn't even realize I was doing until I decided to make this comparison. There have been plenty of times throughout this process where I have said "Lord can't I just turn this idea into a course instead? I promise I will finish it then." or "I promise to never complain again if you would just help me to write this book." You'll be amazed at what your mind will resort to when you feel like you're running out of options.


Let's also add in anxiety and stress into this one as well. This is where the limiting beliefs began to trickle in. The thoughts of "I can't do this" or "This book wont be good" to my most recent "I'm not going to have the time to finish all of this.". This process has left me in a weird state of just wanting to be alone and in tears on more than one occasion. Often these moments would only last for a day but within those 24hrs it felt like I would never be able to dig myself out of my bed and back into writing the book.


And lastly you have acceptance. That little piece of hope that sparks a fire in you and makes you feel like "Ok, I have this under control." While I'm not 100% there yet, I can definitely begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel now that the book has been written and I am in the editing and design stage. And once it's is designed and sitting in my hands I know for a fact that I will forget all of the other emotions that I went through.

I don't share this part of the journey to scare you or to make you think that I regret starting this journey. All though it has been hard, this process has literally been one of the most exciting things that I have ever done in my life and I don't regret a single bit of it. I say all of this because I also don't want to glorify the process or make it seem like it has been a cake walk. While I have loved this process it has also been hard. And if you're planning on venturing out into the world of writing a book, I want you to know what to expect. I was told before that it would be tough, but I had no clue how hard it would be or the different emotions I would experience on any given day.


So as of right now, I am officially in editing mode and working with my developmental editor to make sure that everything flows and reads well (Hey R'Chelle!) It has been so helpful to have someone there to look back over my work and to also flesh out ideas with. Next up I will be putting the launch in motion. As of right now I have the landing page up where people can sign up to receive the full introduction to the book. My goal for the past couple of weeks has been to drive people to the landing page and get them to sign up and read the introduction. I've learned with other launches in the past that it's good to have a healthy mailing list in place before launching.

Next, I'll be reaching out to people to be apart of the book launch team and accepting people in my community who would like to join (make sure you're signed up for the newsletter if you're interested in helping me out!). Then pre-orders for the book and the book bundles will be happening (crosses fingers) on October 18th! The launch is a totally separate beast to tackle from actually writing the book, but I'm excited to build up hype and get people excited for what's to come!


Since I started documenting this journey a bit late, I wanted to include a link to the video where I talked about my book writing process. I will be sure to keep you guys updated on my process from here on out when I have a little free time. You would think at this time that I wouldn't have anymore words but writing has always been very therapeutic to me!

VIDEO: OMG! I'm Writing A Book!

VIDEO: How I Wrote My Book Outline

If there are particular topics that you would like for me to touch on regarding the book launch, please let me know in the comments! 


written by alisha nicole

Alisha Nicole is an author, business coach and founder of Living Over Existing. Visit Her Website